How Often Have You Felt You Have Lost Control When It Comes To a Man? Here Is How To Stop Obsessing Over Him

How often have you felt you’ve lost control when it comes to a man? Have you ever spent most of your time trying to figure out what went wrong, or why he hasn’t called, or why he's all of a sudden so distant?

If you’re like me, you’ve been there many, many times. Before I learned what I’m about to tell you, I used to become so wrapped up in the man in my life, that I would lose track of the most important person – me.

Not only would I obsess about a man, but then I would start letting him take over my life, too. And I remember that happening over and over again, like a record I couldn’t turn off.

It would be a different man, but the same record.

How I Stopped The Cycle Of Obsessive Thoughts

Then I learned something that would forever change my love life: Our men are naturally inspired to move toward us when we reduce their importance in our lives.

I know this goes against a lot of what we women have been taught, but stay with me. Because as soon as I figured this out, the record stopped; and the men who started showing up were completely different than those men I’d been so hung up on.

That’s when my husband came into my life. And when he did, I was able to fall in love with him, let him pursue me, win me, and marry me – all without hearing those obsessive thoughts in my head.

And if I did it, I know you can, too.

Reduce His Importance So He Makes You MORE Important

Here’s how to do it. First, stop revolving your life around him. That means no scheduling around him, no making plans around him, no watching what you say and don’t say, no trying to make him happy or make him love you, no “nice” and no “understanding” when something he does or doesn’t do makes you unhappy.

The second thing to do is to make someone else important in your life. And that’s you. One easy way to do this is with a Tool I call Out The Window.

Reclaim You: Look Out The Window

Look out a window and imagine what it is that you love (aside from him).

Imagine the love in your heart – all that energy and sweetness and passion – going out the window to that thing you love. This might be painting, or the beach, or giving to those less fortunate, or helping people in your special, unique way. Really contemplate what it is that you love about this thing, how it has enriched your life, and what it is that makes it special to you. Notice how it makes you feel centered and with a sense of purpose.

Suddenly, you’ll realize that there’s a lot more to your life than this one man, and you will feel your personal power flooding back to you. Instantly re-shifting your focus like this works like magic whenever you feel your thoughts drifting toward any one man and what he's doing, thinking, or feeling.

Source: Rori Raye (

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